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Dealing with Resentment

John, I have someone at work who really dislikes me. He says bad things about me behind my back. Because of his behavior, from time to time I cannot control my resentment towards him. How can I deal with this?

That is why there is a buddhadharma, which is medicine to heal our minds. Whenever any thought arises towards him, observe your mind. You should consider this situation the best chance to practice mindfulness and try to change your thoughts. You can also offer prayer on these occasions. Prayer is one of the best ways to tap into the power of the buddha or the universe.


Reference from The Scripture of the Founding Master

18. Lee Jung-Won asked the Founding Master, "How can I keep my mind in a perfect state undisturbed by hatred or love?" The Founding Master replied, "You can keep your mind undisturbed by controlling your mind adequately at every moment. For example, if someone hates you, do not hate that person thoughtlessly in return, but search for the cause of the person’s hatred toward you. If you find that the cause is in your own deeds, try to eliminate the cause. If you find no reason in yourself, do not worry about it, but regard the hatred as a result of your own karma accumulated in past lives. At the same time think about your own agony when someone hates you, and make up your mind not to hate anybody. Regard a person who hates you as a teacher who teaches you how to use your mind. If you admit that person as a teacher, you will not be able to hate the person. This is one way to keep your mind from hatred. When someone loves you, do not be thoughtlessly exultant but consider the cause. If you find the cause of the love toward you, try to retain it, and if you find that the love is caused by nothing, regard the love as a debt to be paid. You must also be aware that there are two kinds of love: proper and improper. While proper love is alright, you must learn how to sever an improper love. Even when it is a proper love, if you detect signs that your attachment to it might hinder other matters, then you must be bold and endeavor generally to have no failings in handling your affairs. This is the method to avoid getting attached to love. If you continue with this practice of not getting attached to neither love nor hate, then you will soon achieve a well-rounded state of mind."

from The Scripture of the Founding Master, Chapter 4, v. 18

17. When one of the disciples asked about the principle of how silent prayers could be responded to, the Founding Master replied, "Silent prayers will naturally and spontaneously be answered with an unimaginably great power according to the degree of sincerity of the one practicing. There are so many ways to illustrate this. For example, when you find wicked thoughts often stirring in your mind which are hard to sweep away, give a silent prayer with your whole heart, and your wicked mind will naturally become a gentle mind. Or, because of a past habit if you are too weak to refrain from committing wrongs against your will, by making a truthful confession of your sins and faults and practicing silent prayers for good deeds in the future, you will then naturally be able to lead yourself from wrongs to good deeds. These are simple examples of how the silent prayers are answered. The well‐known legends like the 'Bamboo‐shoot and the Filial Son,' the 'Blood Bamboo,' and the miracle of the 'Fingerprints of Blood' involving the nine original members of our Order, are all revelations of the response to prayers. However, such great response and magnificent power appear only when the confession is carried out steadily and without any distraction. This is the point you should remember, and when you have attained a firm mind power through practicing it in this way, you will attain heavenly power, so that you may be able to exercise the great power like that of Heaven and Earth."

from The Scripture of the Founding Master, Chapter 2, v. 17